​Focus on the Goal, Not the Ideal
   So much of our daily interactions and activities are absorbed with negotiating that we hardly notice what we’re doing. But the art of negotiating cannot be underrated and often determines whether we get what we want in life, or in that moment, or end up spinning our wheels (or tapping our feet) to someone else’s tune.
   Negotiating is not a contest between “good” and “bad” positions. Obstacles are almost never a personal affront. They are just someone else’s short-term agenda conflicting with our own agenda.
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   Everyday conflicts with strangers. It’s essential that you keep your eyes fixed on the goal and not get absorbed by the personality or lack of understanding that you encounter. You want to help this person to help you. You can do this best by appealing to something that is important to him.
   One suggestion would be to appeal to the person’s goodwill or to his desire to wield power. Could he please help you?  Appealing to his generosity of spirit enables him to feel good about helping another human being. And you don’t have any objection to him feeling that way, right?
   The second approach that works particularly well with people in the service industry who don’t have much control, except over their small domain, is to ask, “What do you suggest I do?” — while casting your eyes about meaningfully for a solution. This serves to recast him from antagonist to trusted problem solver.  If he initially comes up with a suggestion that’s not workable just explain why that won’t work and ask for another solution. Then wait patiently. Let him fill the silence. Eventually a solution will be found.

​Excerpted from an article in New Mobility magazine, Everyday Negotiating
By David Geffen|September 1st, 2014

​   Neighbors with multimillion dollar properties in Malibu hadn't spoken (just shouted threats) for years. The trees on one property grew so high that they obstructed the other’s ocean view. So they went on the neighbor's property and trimmed the trees. That increased their property value by half a million dollars, but bought them an expensive lawsuit.
 
   At the mediation, I learned that this was their third lawsuit in the last 20 years.  (First two were not related to trees.) The trespassee said there was no obstruction and therefore no reason to cut her trees. With permission, I presented her an offer from the trimming party to see for herself (when the house was vacant) how her trees were affecting their view. Her monetary demand lowered to settlement range and the case settled (most likely so she could avoid having to visit their home.)
 
Resolved – Attorneys Fees and Reasonable Monetary Compensation

    You already know that the Americans with Disabilities Act provides protections to individuals with disabilities from discrimination by public accommodations. Did you know that your law or mediation practice is a public accommodation?
   It may seem obvious that you will need a handicap parking space, and an accessible path of travel, office, and bathroom to accommodate clients who use wheelchairs or scooters. But when a prospective deaf client needs a sign language interpreter who arranges this and who pays? Hint: you.
   Beyond the removal of architectural barriers, title III of the ADA also requires public accommodations to provide auxiliary aids and services when needed to communicate effectively with people who have communication disabilities. The effective communication standard gives people with disabilities limiting their ability to communicate an equal opportunity to participate in the mainstream of American society, including legal representation.
   In a store, effective communication could be as simple as pointing out a product and having the customer signal yes or no. In a restaurant, it could mean that the waiter reads the menu to someone with a visual impairment. But in a law, mediation, or even a medical practice, where effective back and forth communication is key, providing effective communication with someone with a severe hearing loss will likely require more.
 
The key to communicating effectively is to consider the nature, length, complexity, and context of the communication and the person’s normal method(s) of communication.
 
   Sometimes texting back and forth is all you will need to accomplish simple communications like scheduling an appointment.
The availability of Video Relay Services (VRS) means that in many situations, where the parties don't need to be together, they can still converse without hiring an outside interpreter. VRS is a free service for people who use sign language and have videophones, smart phones, or computers. The client contacts the VRS interpreter, who places the call and serves as an intermediary between the client and a person who uses a standard voice telephone. The interpreter tells the telephone user what the client is signing and signs to the client what the telephone user is saying. It’s very efficient and feels like a normal telephone call.
   In other situations - e.g., initial consultations, interviews, depositions, mediations, and trials - hiring an ASL interpreter will be necessary for effective communication. The cost of providing a sign language interpreter may not be charged to the client. Public accommodations (i.e., your business) must provide effective communication unless they can show that to do so would be an “undue burden”, that is, taking into consideration the nature and cost of the aid or service relative to their size, overall financial resources, and overall expenses. Most professionals won’t qualify for this defense.
   Turning away a potential client because it would cost money to provide the service is not an option - in most circumstances an attorney, mediator, doctor, or accountant is legally required to pay for the cost of the interpreter (about $60 - $100 an hour) as a cost of doing business.
   But don’t sweat it too much - after all there’s not that much demand, and there is a "Disabled Access Credit" for the reasonable and necessary costs of ADA compliance. The credit is an amount equal to 50 percent of the eligible access expenditures for the taxable year that exceed $250, but not more than $10,250. (26 U.S.C. 42)

By David Geffen, Esq. (1/14/16)
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Ref. http://www.ada.gov/effective-comm.htm
       Colorado Bar Association > April 2004 Publication > Sign Language Interpreters: Who Pays?   http://www.cobar.org/tcl/tcl_articles.cfm?articleid=3130
 

Round One – Triage

   Mediations are often compared to a dance that must take its course.  THMs are more like directed exercise with the mediator as drill sergeant.  In THMs, there is less give-and-take, less getting to know one another, less tell me how you feel.  This may be butting against a party’s needs but that's why successful THMs require a mediator’s well choreographed and precise approach.
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   In the first half of the THM, the mediator will need to perform a sort of triage - a quick assessment of the facts, personalities, litigation stage, and bargaining history before making a surgical move on the obstructions that are blocking the flow to mutual accord. Bargaining should start as soon as practical but at least by the beginning of the second half of the THM.

... from an upcoming article by David Geffen